If you've tried to send your number in a SeekMyHeart chat early on, you'll have noticed it doesn't go through. That's on purpose. Our contact-sharing rule is one of the most important safety features on the platform.

What the rule is

Phone numbers, WhatsApp, social media handles, email addresses and links can only be shared once you've been chatting for a while, on several different days, and both of you agree to unlock them. Photos in chat unlock at the same time. The exact rule is always shown on our rules page.

The same rule applies everywhere: in profiles, in groups and the Book Club, and in messages.

Why we do it

Most romance scams follow the same pattern: be very charming very quickly, then move the conversation off the dating platform — to WhatsApp, Telegram or a private email — where nobody can see what happens next. Once there, the requests for money begin.

By keeping early conversations on SeekMyHeart, we make that pattern much harder. Our safety team can see reports, spot accounts that message too many people with the same lines, and remove them before they reach you.

Why it's good for genuine people too

  • No pressure. You never have to decide whether to hand out your number on the first evening.
  • Time to get to know someone. Chatting across several days shows you how someone communicates, not just how they flirt.
  • A clear signal. Someone who gets frustrated by the rule, or tries to sneak their number in with spaces or emojis, is showing you something important.

When it unlocks

When you've met the rule, you'll both see an option to share contact details. Either of you can wait longer if you prefer — there's no rush. Many Heartseekers like to have a video call first.

Red flags to watch for

  • Asking for your number in the first few messages, "because I don't use this app much".
  • Writing numbers as words, or splitting them with symbols to get around the rule.
  • Any story that ends with a request for money, airtime, gift cards or crypto.

If you see any of these, report the person from their profile. Real people review every report. Read more in how to spot a romance scam and on our safety page.

The rule protects your heart and your money. A person who is serious about you will happily wait a few days.

Common questions

Can I share my number if we both want to, earlier?

Not before the rule is met. It applies equally to everyone, which is what makes it hard for scammers to get around.

What happens if I try to send my number anyway?

The message won’t be sent, and we explain why. Trying to get around the rule repeatedly can be reported.

Does the rule apply to video calls?

Video speed dating happens inside SeekMyHeart, so no contact details are shared. See video speed dating.

Where can I see the current rule?

The exact rule is always on our rules page, and in the chat itself when it applies to you.